Friday, June 22, 2007

Well Doc, will I ever be young again?

DEFINITION: v. intr. To spend years and years wishing you could be young again, only to discover that it's actually happening, but not exactly as you imagined.

Well Doc, will I ever be young again?

VERBOTICISMS: (Invented words created by the Verbotomy Writers)

Rejuvenackered: /ree jew ven ack erred/ when he had wished for the body of a much younger man, he had hoped he'd be able to control his dribbling a little better. He was rejuvenackered, he shouldn't have gone to the nightclub in the first place and it was going to take him the best part of what remained of the night to get these damn leather trousers off. Etymology: rejuvenation, knackered. Created by: galwaywegian.

Geriatricks: /jerry-a-triks/ Geriatricks is a miserable joke played on people in the prime of life Etymology: geriatrics + tricks Created by: porsche.

Deagerate: /dee-age-er-ate/ The disease caused his body to deagerate at a rate much quicker than his family had anticipated. Etymology: degenerate + age Created by: Stevenson0.

Poncedelirious: /pons-du-leer-ee-us/ He had hoped the magic potion would make him feel 25 again, but instead he found himself poncedelirious and drooling within an hour. Etymology: PONCE (from Ponce de Leon - the explorer looking for the fountain of youth) + DELIRIOUS (mental state characterized by confusion and agitation) Created by: serendipity9000.

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James

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Thursday, June 21, 2007

Why are you licking your pizza?

DEFINITION: v. tr. To eat in a peculiar or ritualistic manner in an effort to lose weight while consuming more. n. An idiosyncratic method of eating, usually adopted for "health reasons".

Why are you licking your pizza?

VERBOTICISMS: (Invented words created by the Verbotomy Writers)

Celeremony: /SEL-uh-ree-moh-nee/ Elena reverently placed the perfectly trimmed stalks into place - a perfect pentagram (5 grams), in preparation for her nightly celeremony. Etymology: celery, ceremony Created by: Alchemist.

Safepecks: /safe-pex/ After failing on both the Fatkins Diet and SlimFat, Louise tried practicing Safepecks, slowly nibbling on small bits of food. Unfortunately, for her, it only meant that it took her two hours to finish off the entire pizza. Etymology: safe sex, peck Created by: purpleartichokes.

Liet: /lie-et/ she only ate fruit flavoured ice cream because she was on a very strict liet Etymology: lie, diet Created by: rikboyee.

Vegebation: /veg-uh-bey-shun/ Vegebation is the peculiar ritual Tiffany practises. She only drinks her food. She juicers all her vegetables and tofu together and drinks her meals to prevent wear and tear on her teeth and reduce facial aging lines from chewing. Vegebation is also part of the 'X-Man' cultasy which proclaims that this activity will reduce the side effects of youthanesia. Etymology: vegetarian + libation; vegebation -n. An idiosyncratic method of eating, usually adopted for "health reasons". Created by: Stevenson0.

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James

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Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Going where no man has gone before.

DEFINITION: n. A pop culture entertainment property, which has transcended itself and become a de facto religion with legions of devotees, prescribed rituals and sacred texts.

Going where no man has gone before.

VERBOTICISMS: (Invented words created by the Verbotomy Writers)

Predalektion: /pree-dalek-shun/ The predalektion is a cult made up of crazed Dr Who fans who gather once a week in parking lots and bump into each other while saying over and over in stacatto voices "Exterminate" "Exterminate" Etymology: predilection (inclination) + dalek (of Dr. Who fame) Created by: Jabberwocky.

Borganization: /bor-gan-iz-a-shun/ It wasn't long before the Star Trek series went from a simple buycon, content with selling action figures of Spock and Kirk, to a borganization, with a huge cult-like following of devotees. Etymology: borg, organization Created by: purpleartichokes.

Phenomination: /fi-nom-uh-NEY-shuhn/ Fans of science fiction may be divided into countless phenominations. Of these, Trekkies may be divided into several hundred thousand subphenominations. Thus concludes my example paragraph. Etymology: phenomenon + denomination Created by: Clayton.

Fanaticult: /fah-nah-tee-cult/ The Spockonian Fanaticult was the new religion rivaling Christianity in 101 G.T. [Geek Times]. Etymology: fan + fanaticism + cult Created by: ohwtepph.

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James

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Monday, June 18, 2007

It’s about my husband’s new prescription

DEFINITION: n. An unintended consequence of medical or psychological therapy, especially if the therapy is supposed to make you feel "young again".

It's about my husband's new prescription?

VERBOTICISMS: (Invented words created by the Verbotomy Writers)

Teenmentia: /teen-men-chah/ After a trip to the stud farmacologist and eating two boxes of Wild Oats 'n' Bran, Bob got a wicked case of Teenmentia. His neighbors watched in horror as he chased his poor old wife Alice around the yard while simulataneously crooning the Barry White tune "Let's Get It On." Etymology: teen, dementia Created by: purpleartichokes.

Youthanasia: /yoo-thuh-ney-zee-ast/ Viagra and some other new miracle drugs are a form of youthanasia. With these drugs, young ideas, images and urgings are brought about in an old, incapable body. Etymology: youth + euthanasia Created by: Stevenson0.

Cocoonsequence: /cah-coon-see-kwens/ sure, i had extra vitality, but the appearance of 15 superfluous nipples was an upsetting cocoonsequence Etymology: consequence, cocoon[the movie...with steve guttenberg] Created by: rikboyee.

Slideeffect: /slide-eefekt/ The slideefect to the new medication made Bob wear baggy pants that hung low on his hips and let his underwear show. It gave a whole new meaning to slip slidin away Etymology: slide + side effect Created by: Jabberwocky.

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James

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The gossip around here is worse than high school

DEFINITION: v. tr. To complain and complain about a problem without ever taking action to correct it. n. A complaint about something which you can fix but choose not to.

The gossip around here is awful.

VERBOTICISMS: (Invented words created by the Verbotomy Writers)

Grouchpotato: /grouch-po-ta-toe/ David was a grouchpotato. He constantly complained but took no action and wound up with "secretary spread" on his hips. Etymology: couch potato/grouch Created by: toadstool57.

Whinertia: /wine-ER-sha/ Having perfected the fine art of complaining about everything and solving nothing, she could have run for Governor of the state of whinertia -- and won in a landslide. Etymology: whine (and/or whiner) + inertia Created by: Katisms1.

Longwhineded: /long-wine-did/ The head trader was so longwhineded that the constant cacophony he created garnered him the distinction of being known as a whine expert. Etymology: long winded (constant) + whine Created by: Jabberwocky.

Deridleness: /di-RAHYD-l-nis/ Gracie's incessant deridling was symptomatic of her untenable hypocrisycophancy. She was even heard complaining to the boss about the tissues in her own wastebaskPublish Postet. Etymology: deride + idleness Created by: Clayton.

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James

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Friday, June 15, 2007

Jennifer? You've changed your hairstyle! I like it!

DEFINITION: v. tr. To seek approval from your boss by emulating their style, mannerisms or affectations. n. A person who uses such techniques to win favor.

Jennifer? You've changed your hairstyle! I like it!

VERBOTICISMS: (Invented words created by the Verbotomy Writers)

Ingratiape: /in-gray-si-aip/ Ms. York was able to photocopy her fundament on "letter" at the office party, while Susan had to switch to "legal", undermining her ongoing efforts to ingratiape herself with her supervisor. Etymology: ingratiate + ape (copy) Created by: administraitor.

Doppelmanager: /dah-puhl-man-a-jer/ All butt-kissing and other adminitraits aside, when Bob showed up sporting the same Rocky and Bullwinkle tie that the boss wore, it was readily apparent that he had become a doppelmanager destined for the Borg room. Simpresarios always wound up as directums. Etymology: doppelganger, manager Created by: purpleartichokes.

Suckcessor: /successor/ Tina is now a consultant on suckcession planning. She has a wealth of experience in career advancement through the judicious use plastic surgery and the less intrusive techniques of mimicry and style adoption. Etymology: suck up to + successor Created by: petaj.

Panderox: /pan-der-ox/ With a vice-president position available, individuals being considered for the position panderox the boss at every possible opportunity. The secretaries have a chart keeping track of who is the biggest panderoxing fool. Etymology: pander + xerox Created by: Stevenson0.

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James

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Thursday, June 14, 2007

Why do you always carry that file folder?

DEFINITION: n. A prop (e.g. papers, files or any non-functional equipment) used to create the illusion of busyness. v. tr. To use such a prop to mask inactivity.

Why do you always carry that file folder?

VERBOTICISMS: (Invented words created by the Verbotomy Writers)

Slackcessory: /slak-sess-or-ee/ Phil's slackcessory wasn't fooling anyone. The "tech manual" he was toting around was the instruction booklet for his lawn mower. Apparently, he was Fridazed when he took that course on shirkonomics. Etymology: slack (to avoid work), accessory Created by: purpleartichokes.

Industricators: /in-DUST-ri-caters/ Memo To: WOT Team..... From: WOT Team Leader %%%%%%%%%%%% Hi Team, The big boss is coming to visit on Friday. Please make sure that you have a good selection of industricators and suggestoilibles on hand to ensure that she leaves with 'right' impression. We don't want her to think that WOT stands for Waste of Time. ta, oh and please eat this memo before Friday. Etymology: industry + indicator + extricate (could get the lazy staffer an allayoffment, and out of a sticky situation) Created by: petaj.

Evidiligence: /-ˌɛvəˈdɪlədʒɛns-/ While folders and papers make excellent passive evidiligence for someone on the move, a mobile phone or PDA can serve the same purpose even when seated at one's desk, though such tools require an active effort to complete the effect of slackofflage. Etymology: From evidence + diligence Created by: ErWenn.

Phantofiles: /fan-tuh-files/ John had six different coloured sets of phantofiles he alternated at various times of the day to keep 'The Man' off his case and to demonstrate his industriousness and multitasking abilities. "Damn, he's good!" thought his boss. "He's completed three different projects today and it's only noon." John's phantofiles put him in line for a raise. Etymology: phantom + files Created by: Stevenson0.

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James

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Tuesday, June 12, 2007

When I said that you're a loser, I meant it as a compliment.

DEFINITION: v. tr. to exercise power through the strategic use of personal insults, while pretending to offer encouragement. n. A leader who uses such methods.

When I said that you're a loser, I meant is a compliment.

VERBOTICISMS: (Invented words created by the Verbotomy Writers)

Condemnagog: /kun-dem-ah-gog/ At the meeting, we counted six insults proffered by Frank, the condemnagog, including one subtle double-slam on the presenter's mentor. Etymology: condemn, demagog Created by: purpleartichokes.

Mockliment: /-ˈmɑkləˌmɛnt-/ It wasn't the fact that he mocklimented everyone that was so annoying; it was the fact that he seemed to think everyone was too stupid to notice. Etymology: From compliment + mock Created by: ErWenn.

Demeanager: /duh-meen-aj-err/ he liked his job but he couldn't stand his new demeanager Etymology: demean, manager Created by: rikboyee.

Humiliaid: /hyoo-mil-ee-eyd/ Rachel would humiliaid every salesman in the department. She ripped every salesman apart personally then pushed them to exceed last month's sales targets. Etymology: humiliate + aid Created by: Stevenson0.

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James

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I think this is a game of hide and seek.

DEFINITION: n. A momentary feeling of relief mixed with lingering dread, which occurs when your boss marches past the piles of unfinished work on your desk.

I think this is a game of hide and seek.

VERBOTICISMS: (Invented words created by the Verbotomy Writers)

Intraypidation: /in-tray-pid-ay-shun/ whenever i became too overwhelmed with intraypidation i would head to the kitchen for a bit of subterfridge Etymology: in tray, intrepid, trepidation Created by: rikboyee.

Allayoffment: /al-ay-off-ment/ A wave of allayoffment passed over him as he narrowly escaped being asked to produce last week's revenue figures. Etymology: allayment (relief) + lay off (as in being fired) Created by: Jabberwocky.

Deskapism: /desk ape isum/ the euphoria of deskapism evaporated when the vp's number lit up his intercom. Etymology: desk, escapism Created by: galwaywegian.

Bossgumps: /BAWS-guhmps / Jeremy got bossgumps every time Mr. Schmidt passed his desk to examine his ever-mounting horriPILEation. (D'oh!) It was getting so he didn't even have a chance to play Dr. Mario anymore. Etymology: boss + goose bumps (sorta) Created by: Clayton.

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James

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Monday, June 11, 2007

Ooopy goopy poopy poo

DEFINITION: n An invented language similar to baby talk, used by pet owners to communicate with their pets. v. tr. To speak to an animal using such a language.

Ooopy goopy poopy poo.

VERBOTICISMS: (Invented words created by the Verbotomy Writers)

Petois: /pet-twa/ Madeleine took her tiny dog off to Paris in her handbag and spoke to it lovingly in petois to stop it barking on the Metro. It was a curious mix of French and doggy noises. Etymology: pet + patois (non-standard speech/creole) Created by: petaj.

Furnacular: /Fer-nack-yoo-ler/ It takes hard working and determination, almost 7 years in college, and 4 years of trade school to learn the furnacular of pets. Etymology: Fur (the hair of certain animals) + vernacular (language spoken in a specific place) Created by: ziggy41.

Bingolingo: /bing-oh-ling-oh/ There was a farmer who became famous for his bingolingo. They even have a song about him (Ready Purple) There was a farmer had a dog and bingo was his name oh - all together now B-I-N-G-O Etymology: lingo + Bingo (famous dog) Created by: Jabberwocky.

Petsperanto: /pets-puh-RAHN-toh/ Petsperanto became fashionable once again in the 23rd century, but by then it resembled Klingon. Later it would lean more toward bafflegab, just as it always had, but Star Trek was taken a bit more seriously in those halcyon days. Of all the people to reanimate, why'd they pick Shatner? Etymology: pet + Esperanto Created by: Clayton.

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James

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Friday, June 8, 2007

I guess I'll have one more...

DEFINITION: v. tr. To make the same mistake over and over again even though you know it's stupid. n. A compulsively repeated mistake.

I guess I'll have one more...

VERBOTICISMS: (Invented words created by the Verbotomy Writers)

Stuplication: /stoop-lih-KAY-shuhn/ By dating each of the seven MacGillicuddy girls, Alex achieved a feat of stuplication that even he didn't think he was capable of Etymology: stupid + duplication Created by: mplsbohemian.

Recidiotism: /re-sid-ee-ot-ism/ The first two times he tried to eat the wax fruit on her dining room table, she thought it was quirky ... but after that she started to suspect it was recidiotism. Etymology: RECID and ISM from RECIDIVISM (repeated or habitual relapse)with IDIOT inserted in the middle Created by: serendipity9000.

Dohpeat: /-ˈdoʊˌpit-/ I knew that I was inclined to miss the freeway exit to our new house, so I made a big point of staying focused so that I wouldn't dohpeat this time. Unfortunately, my resolve led me into a false sense of security, and it wasn't until I turned on the street where we used to live that I realized it had happened again. Etymology: From doh + repeat Created by: ErWenn.

Redodebooboo: /ree-doo-dee-boo-boo/ Like Alice in Blunderland, Bob didn't realize he was about to redodebooboo. I watched in amazment as he once again set the office toaster oven to Burnt Beyond Recognition and walk away. Eh, at least we'd get a few minutes out of the office when the fire alarms went off. Etymology: redo the boo-boo Created by: purpleartichokes.

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James

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Wednesday, June 6, 2007

Aaaaahhhh! AAAAAHHHHHH!

DEFINITION: n. The horrible pain that comes from pulling a band-aid off of hairy skin.

Aaaaahhhh! AAAAAHHHHHH!

VERBOTICISMS: (Invented words created by the Verbotomy Writers)

Trichotrauma: /trick-o-traw-ma/ It was a cold Halloween and the neighbourhood was filled with the joyful sound of families laughing and enjoying themselves. Suddenly a horrendous screech filled the night and an eerie silence descended on the revellers. Was it a spirit raised from the dead, was it an escaped pet cockatoo, was it Aunty Em practising her singing? No. It was a hairy legged Dad who had banned his children from trick or treating. In revenge his darling children had ripped duct tape from his knee, to see him suffer from trichotrauma. "Faaaaaghlicle" he screamed as the second piece was stripped off. Etymology: tricho (hair) + trauma (injury) Created by: petaj.

Depilatorture: /-dəˈpɪləˌtoɹtʃɝ-/ Perhaps the depilatorture of bandage removal could be lessened somewhat if we hired professional bikini-waxers to do the yank-job for us. Etymology: From depilatory + torture Created by: ErWenn.

Hurtsute: /hurt-soot/ Jane took great pleasure in ripping the plaster off my chest. It hurtsute like hell! Etymology: hurts (painful) + hirsute (hairy) Created by: pinwheel.

Hairrowing: /hair-row-ing/ The ripping off of that bandage was a most hairrowing experience. Etymology: hair + harrow + ing Created by: Stevenson0.

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This is the real me.

DEFINITION: n. A self-image disorder characterized by an inability look at, share, or even recognize pictures of yourself, unless they have been photoshopped to perfection.

This is the real me.

VERBOTICISMS: (Invented words created by the Verbotomy Writers)

Retouchiness: /ree-TUHCH-ee-nis/ Constance's retouchiness was out of control. She got busted for using the smudge tool on her passport photo. Etymology: retouch + touchiness Created by: Clayton.

Phonyshopped: /phone y shopped/ The only way she thinks she is beutiful if she is so phonyshopped that she makes barbie look real Etymology: phonyshopped: phony (fake) + photoshopped Created by: hennifer.

Pixosis: /pix-os-is/ Her psychiatrist's treatment of pixosis was to get her, over time, to use older and older versions of Photoshop until she weaned herself of the program. Etymology: pixel + osis Created by: Stevenson0.

Opticaldelusion: /op-tic-al-dell-oo-shun/ Dorie Gray had an opticaldelusion disorder which was very confusing when applying her makeup - she often sported two sets of eyebrowse Etymology: delusion + optical illusion Created by: Jabberwocky.

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James

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Tuesday, June 5, 2007

That's cool technology! It's my deodorant.

DEFINITION: v. intr. To obsess over, and fantasize about electronic gadgets even though you can never figure out how they actually work. n. A beautiful but useless gadget.

That's cool technology! It's my deodorant.

VERBOTICISMS: (Invented words created by the Verbotomy Writers)

Gizmotional: /giz-mo-shun-uhl/ Bob became gizmotional and overwhelmed with gadgeglee upon opening his new 10-in-one remote control, until he realized the only button he recognized was "On". Etymology: gizmo, emotional Created by: purpleartichokes.

Gearoused: /geer-OWzed/ Despite her Luddite leanings, she became increasingly gearoused with every page turn of her Hammacher Schlemmer catalogue. Etymology: gear + aroused Created by: Katisms1.

Yabadabadoodad: /ya-ba-da-ba-do-dad/ Fred kept tripping over his big flat feet every time he encountered a new yabadabadoodad. Etymology: doodad + yabadabadoo Created by: Jabberwocky.

Gizbo: /giz-bo/ His latest gizbo was a beautiful oak stand with a built in light to hold and display his pet rock. Etymology: gizmo + bimbo Created by: Stevenson0.

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James

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Monday, June 4, 2007

Honey! Who's this? Oh! A facebook friend.

DEFINITION: A predictable but unmanageable emotional response, which occurs when a person discovers that their lover is cheating.

Honey! Who's this? Oh! A facebook friend.

VERBOTICISMS: (Invented words created by the Verbotomy Writers)

Killherinstinct: /kill-hur-in-stinkt/ Seeing them together for the first time, she was overcome with killherinstinct. Fortunately, she easily got herself under control, as she had another hot date lined up for the evening. Etymology: killer instinct, her Created by: purpleartichokes.

Monogocidal: /Mon-AWG-oh-side-ull/ On hearing news of his infidelity, her immediate response was swift and monogocidal. Etymology: Monogomy + homocide: The murder of a monogomous relationship. Created by: Katisms1.

Woebegonorrhea: /woe-begone-or-ea/ He felt an intense wave of woebegonorrhea when he discovered his girlfriend was cheating on him and just as he was about to tell her about the test results from the clinic Etymology: woebegone + gonorrhea Created by: Jabberwocky.

Desoulashun: /des-sohl-a-shun/ When he caught Jenny with Robbie, complete and utter desoulashun overtook him. Etymology: desolation + soulmate + shun Created by: Stevenson0.

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James

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Friday, June 1, 2007

Oh please stay! And don't worry about Robbie.

DEFINITION: The sense of discomfort created when "a couple" says you are wePublish Postlcome to stay, even though their behavior suggests that you are getting in the way.

Oh please stay! And don't worry about Robbie.

VERBOTICISMS: (Invented words created by the Verbotomy Writers)

Threedundancy: /three-dun-dans-ee/ He felt an acute sense of threedundancy when his hosts both nodded off at the table just before dessert Etymology: three + redundancy Created by: Jabberwocky.

Matecrasher: /mate-crash-er/ When Mindy and Robbie started making out on the living room couch after dinner, Ellen felt like a matecrasher and not the guest of the evening. Etymology: mate + gatecrasher Created by: Stevenson0.

Prolingsion: /Pro + Ling + shun/ Jenny & Pete really need to "get a room" because I'm sick of them and their prolingsion! Etymology: Pro (meaning pro as in positive) + ling (linger) + sion (intrusion) Created by: guesser.

Threesquirm: /three-skworm/ Shelly was tired of being the gooseberry, but she truly suffered from threesquirm and dispair, when her friends coupled brazenly in front of her. Etymology: threesome (a trio) + squirm (react with discomfort) Created by: petaj.

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James

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