It’s about my husband’s new prescription

DEFINITION: n. An unintended consequence of medical or psychological therapy, especially if the therapy is supposed to make you feel "young again".

VERBOTICISMS: (Invented words created by the Verbotomy Writers)

Teenmentia: /teen-men-chah/ After a trip to the stud farmacologist and eating two boxes of Wild Oats 'n' Bran, Bob got a wicked case of Teenmentia. His neighbors watched in horror as he chased his poor old wife Alice around the yard while simulataneously crooning the Barry White tune "Let's Get It On." Etymology: teen, dementia Created by: purpleartichokes.

Youthanasia: /yoo-thuh-ney-zee-ast/ Viagra and some other new miracle drugs are a form of youthanasia. With these drugs, young ideas, images and urgings are brought about in an old, incapable body. Etymology: youth + euthanasia Created by: Stevenson0.

Cocoonsequence: /cah-coon-see-kwens/ sure, i had extra vitality, but the appearance of 15 superfluous nipples was an upsetting cocoonsequence Etymology: consequence, cocoon[the movie...with steve guttenberg] Created by: rikboyee.

Slideeffect: /slide-eefekt/ The slideefect to the new medication made Bob wear baggy pants that hung low on his hips and let his underwear show. It gave a whole new meaning to slip slidin away Etymology: slide + side effect Created by: Jabberwocky.

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The gossip around here is worse than high school

DEFINITION: v. tr. To complain and complain about a problem without ever taking action to correct it. n. A complaint about something which you can fix but choose not to.

VERBOTICISMS: (Invented words created by the Verbotomy Writers)

Grouchpotato: /grouch-po-ta-toe/ David was a grouchpotato. He constantly complained but took no action and wound up with "secretary spread" on his hips. Etymology: couch potato/grouch Created by: toadstool57.

Whinertia: /wine-ER-sha/ Having perfected the fine art of complaining about everything and solving nothing, she could have run for Governor of the state of whinertia -- and won in a landslide. Etymology: whine (and/or whiner) + inertia Created by: Katisms1.

Longwhineded: /long-wine-did/ The head trader was so longwhineded that the constant cacophony he created garnered him the distinction of being known as a whine expert. Etymology: long winded (constant) + whine Created by: Jabberwocky.

Deridleness: /di-RAHYD-l-nis/ Gracie's incessant deridling was symptomatic of her untenable hypocrisycophancy. She was even heard complaining to the boss about the tissues in her own wastebaskPublish Postet. Etymology: deride + idleness Created by: Clayton.

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Jennifer? You've changed your hairstyle! I like it!

DEFINITION: v. tr. To seek approval from your boss by emulating their style, mannerisms or affectations. n. A person who uses such techniques to win favor.

VERBOTICISMS: (Invented words created by the Verbotomy Writers)

Ingratiape: /in-gray-si-aip/ Ms. York was able to photocopy her fundament on "letter" at the office party, while Susan had to switch to "legal", undermining her ongoing efforts to ingratiape herself with her supervisor. Etymology: ingratiate + ape (copy) Created by: administraitor.

Doppelmanager: /dah-puhl-man-a-jer/ All butt-kissing and other adminitraits aside, when Bob showed up sporting the same Rocky and Bullwinkle tie that the boss wore, it was readily apparent that he had become a doppelmanager destined for the Borg room. Simpresarios always wound up as directums. Etymology: doppelganger, manager Created by: purpleartichokes.

Suckcessor: /successor/ Tina is now a consultant on suckcession planning. She has a wealth of experience in career advancement through the judicious use plastic surgery and the less intrusive techniques of mimicry and style adoption. Etymology: suck up to + successor Created by: petaj.

Panderox: /pan-der-ox/ With a vice-president position available, individuals being considered for the position panderox the boss at every possible opportunity. The secretaries have a chart keeping track of who is the biggest panderoxing fool. Etymology: pander + xerox Created by: Stevenson0.

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Why do you always carry that file folder?

DEFINITION: n. A prop (e.g. papers, files or any non-functional equipment) used to create the illusion of busyness. v. tr. To use such a prop to mask inactivity.

VERBOTICISMS: (Invented words created by the Verbotomy Writers)

Slackcessory: /slak-sess-or-ee/ Phil's slackcessory wasn't fooling anyone. The "tech manual" he was toting around was the instruction booklet for his lawn mower. Apparently, he was Fridazed when he took that course on shirkonomics. Etymology: slack (to avoid work), accessory Created by: purpleartichokes.

Industricators: /in-DUST-ri-caters/ Memo To: WOT Team..... From: WOT Team Leader %%%%%%%%%%%% Hi Team, The big boss is coming to visit on Friday. Please make sure that you have a good selection of industricators and suggestoilibles on hand to ensure that she leaves with 'right' impression. We don't want her to think that WOT stands for Waste of Time. ta, oh and please eat this memo before Friday. Etymology: industry + indicator + extricate (could get the lazy staffer an allayoffment, and out of a sticky situation) Created by: petaj.

Evidiligence: /-ˌɛvəˈdɪlədʒɛns-/ While folders and papers make excellent passive evidiligence for someone on the move, a mobile phone or PDA can serve the same purpose even when seated at one's desk, though such tools require an active effort to complete the effect of slackofflage. Etymology: From evidence + diligence Created by: ErWenn.

Phantofiles: /fan-tuh-files/ John had six different coloured sets of phantofiles he alternated at various times of the day to keep 'The Man' off his case and to demonstrate his industriousness and multitasking abilities. "Damn, he's good!" thought his boss. "He's completed three different projects today and it's only noon." John's phantofiles put him in line for a raise. Etymology: phantom + files Created by: Stevenson0.

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I think this is a game of hide and seek.

DEFINITION: n. A momentary feeling of relief mixed with lingering dread, which occurs when your boss marches past the piles of unfinished work on your desk.

VERBOTICISMS: (Invented words created by the Verbotomy Writers)

Intraypidation: /in-tray-pid-ay-shun/ whenever i became too overwhelmed with intraypidation i would head to the kitchen for a bit of subterfridge Etymology: in tray, intrepid, trepidation Created by: rikboyee.

Allayoffment: /al-ay-off-ment/ A wave of allayoffment passed over him as he narrowly escaped being asked to produce last week's revenue figures. Etymology: allayment (relief) + lay off (as in being fired) Created by: Jabberwocky.

Deskapism: /desk ape isum/ the euphoria of deskapism evaporated when the vp's number lit up his intercom. Etymology: desk, escapism Created by: galwaywegian.

Bossgumps: /BAWS-guhmps / Jeremy got bossgumps every time Mr. Schmidt passed his desk to examine his ever-mounting horriPILEation. (D'oh!) It was getting so he didn't even have a chance to play Dr. Mario anymore. Etymology: boss + goose bumps (sorta) Created by: Clayton.

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Ooopy goopy poopy poo

DEFINITION: n An invented language similar to baby talk, used by pet owners to communicate with their pets. v. tr. To speak to an animal using such a language.

VERBOTICISMS: (Invented words created by the Verbotomy Writers)

Petois: /pet-twa/ Madeleine took her tiny dog off to Paris in her handbag and spoke to it lovingly in petois to stop it barking on the Metro. It was a curious mix of French and doggy noises. Etymology: pet + patois (non-standard speech/creole) Created by: petaj.

Furnacular: /Fer-nack-yoo-ler/ It takes hard working and determination, almost 7 years in college, and 4 years of trade school to learn the furnacular of pets. Etymology: Fur (the hair of certain animals) + vernacular (language spoken in a specific place) Created by: ziggy41.

Bingolingo: /bing-oh-ling-oh/ There was a farmer who became famous for his bingolingo. They even have a song about him (Ready Purple) There was a farmer had a dog and bingo was his name oh - all together now B-I-N-G-O Etymology: lingo + Bingo (famous dog) Created by: Jabberwocky.

Petsperanto: /pets-puh-RAHN-toh/ Petsperanto became fashionable once again in the 23rd century, but by then it resembled Klingon. Later it would lean more toward bafflegab, just as it always had, but Star Trek was taken a bit more seriously in those halcyon days. Of all the people to reanimate, why'd they pick Shatner? Etymology: pet + Esperanto Created by: Clayton.

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I guess I'll have one more...

DEFINITION: v. tr. To make the same mistake over and over again even though you know it's stupid. n. A compulsively repeated mistake.

VERBOTICISMS: (Invented words created by the Verbotomy Writers)

Stuplication: /stoop-lih-KAY-shuhn/ By dating each of the seven MacGillicuddy girls, Alex achieved a feat of stuplication that even he didn't think he was capable of Etymology: stupid + duplication Created by: mplsbohemian.

Recidiotism: /re-sid-ee-ot-ism/ The first two times he tried to eat the wax fruit on her dining room table, she thought it was quirky ... but after that she started to suspect it was recidiotism. Etymology: RECID and ISM from RECIDIVISM (repeated or habitual relapse)with IDIOT inserted in the middle Created by: serendipity9000.

Dohpeat: /-ˈdoʊˌpit-/ I knew that I was inclined to miss the freeway exit to our new house, so I made a big point of staying focused so that I wouldn't dohpeat this time. Unfortunately, my resolve led me into a false sense of security, and it wasn't until I turned on the street where we used to live that I realized it had happened again. Etymology: From doh + repeat Created by: ErWenn.

Redodebooboo: /ree-doo-dee-boo-boo/ Like Alice in Blunderland, Bob didn't realize he was about to redodebooboo. I watched in amazment as he once again set the office toaster oven to Burnt Beyond Recognition and walk away. Eh, at least we'd get a few minutes out of the office when the fire alarms went off. Etymology: redo the boo-boo Created by: purpleartichokes.

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Aaaaahhhh! AAAAAHHHHHH!

DEFINITION: n. The horrible pain that comes from pulling a band-aid off of hairy skin.

VERBOTICISMS: (Invented words created by the Verbotomy Writers)

Trichotrauma: /trick-o-traw-ma/ It was a cold Halloween and the neighbourhood was filled with the joyful sound of families laughing and enjoying themselves. Suddenly a horrendous screech filled the night and an eerie silence descended on the revellers. Was it a spirit raised from the dead, was it an escaped pet cockatoo, was it Aunty Em practising her singing? No. It was a hairy legged Dad who had banned his children from trick or treating. In revenge his darling children had ripped duct tape from his knee, to see him suffer from trichotrauma. "Faaaaaghlicle" he screamed as the second piece was stripped off. Etymology: tricho (hair) + trauma (injury) Created by: petaj.

Depilatorture: /-dəˈpɪləˌtoɹtʃɝ-/ Perhaps the depilatorture of bandage removal could be lessened somewhat if we hired professional bikini-waxers to do the yank-job for us. Etymology: From depilatory + torture Created by: ErWenn.

Hurtsute: /hurt-soot/ Jane took great pleasure in ripping the plaster off my chest. It hurtsute like hell! Etymology: hurts (painful) + hirsute (hairy) Created by: pinwheel.

Hairrowing: /hair-row-ing/ The ripping off of that bandage was a most hairrowing experience. Etymology: hair + harrow + ing Created by: Stevenson0.

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This is the real me.

DEFINITION: n. A self-image disorder characterized by an inability look at, share, or even recognize pictures of yourself, unless they have been photoshopped to perfection.

VERBOTICISMS: (Invented words created by the Verbotomy Writers)

Retouchiness: /ree-TUHCH-ee-nis/ Constance's retouchiness was out of control. She got busted for using the smudge tool on her passport photo. Etymology: retouch + touchiness Created by: Clayton.

Phonyshopped: /phone y shopped/ The only way she thinks she is beutiful if she is so phonyshopped that she makes barbie look real Etymology: phonyshopped: phony (fake) + photoshopped Created by: hennifer.

Pixosis: /pix-os-is/ Her psychiatrist's treatment of pixosis was to get her, over time, to use older and older versions of Photoshop until she weaned herself of the program. Etymology: pixel + osis Created by: Stevenson0.

Opticaldelusion: /op-tic-al-dell-oo-shun/ Dorie Gray had an opticaldelusion disorder which was very confusing when applying her makeup - she often sported two sets of eyebrowse Etymology: delusion + optical illusion Created by: Jabberwocky.

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That's cool technology! It's my deodorant.

DEFINITION: v. intr. To obsess over, and fantasize about electronic gadgets even though you can never figure out how they actually work. n. A beautiful but useless gadget.

VERBOTICISMS: (Invented words created by the Verbotomy Writers)

Gizmotional: /giz-mo-shun-uhl/ Bob became gizmotional and overwhelmed with gadgeglee upon opening his new 10-in-one remote control, until he realized the only button he recognized was "On". Etymology: gizmo, emotional Created by: purpleartichokes.

Gearoused: /geer-OWzed/ Despite her Luddite leanings, she became increasingly gearoused with every page turn of her Hammacher Schlemmer catalogue. Etymology: gear + aroused Created by: Katisms1.

Yabadabadoodad: /ya-ba-da-ba-do-dad/ Fred kept tripping over his big flat feet every time he encountered a new yabadabadoodad. Etymology: doodad + yabadabadoo Created by: Jabberwocky.

Gizbo: /giz-bo/ His latest gizbo was a beautiful oak stand with a built in light to hold and display his pet rock. Etymology: gizmo + bimbo Created by: Stevenson0.

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Honey! Who's this? Oh! A facebook friend.

DEFINITION: A predictable but unmanageable emotional response, which occurs when a person discovers that their lover is cheating.

VERBOTICISMS: (Invented words created by the Verbotomy Writers)

Killherinstinct: /kill-hur-in-stinkt/ Seeing them together for the first time, she was overcome with killherinstinct. Fortunately, she easily got herself under control, as she had another hot date lined up for the evening. Etymology: killer instinct, her Created by: purpleartichokes.

Monogocidal: /Mon-AWG-oh-side-ull/ On hearing news of his infidelity, her immediate response was swift and monogocidal. Etymology: Monogomy + homocide: The murder of a monogomous relationship. Created by: Katisms1.

Woebegonorrhea: /woe-begone-or-ea/ He felt an intense wave of woebegonorrhea when he discovered his girlfriend was cheating on him and just as he was about to tell her about the test results from the clinic Etymology: woebegone + gonorrhea Created by: Jabberwocky.

Desoulashun: /des-sohl-a-shun/ When he caught Jenny with Robbie, complete and utter desoulashun overtook him. Etymology: desolation + soulmate + shun Created by: Stevenson0.

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Oh please stay! And don't worry about Robbie.

DEFINITION: The sense of discomfort created when "a couple" says you are wePublish Postlcome to stay, even though their behavior suggests that you are getting in the way.

VERBOTICISMS: (Invented words created by the Verbotomy Writers)

Threedundancy: /three-dun-dans-ee/ He felt an acute sense of threedundancy when his hosts both nodded off at the table just before dessert Etymology: three + redundancy Created by: Jabberwocky.

Matecrasher: /mate-crash-er/ When Mindy and Robbie started making out on the living room couch after dinner, Ellen felt like a matecrasher and not the guest of the evening. Etymology: mate + gatecrasher Created by: Stevenson0.

Prolingsion: /Pro + Ling + shun/ Jenny & Pete really need to "get a room" because I'm sick of them and their prolingsion! Etymology: Pro (meaning pro as in positive) + ling (linger) + sion (intrusion) Created by: guesser.

Threesquirm: /three-skworm/ Shelly was tired of being the gooseberry, but she truly suffered from threesquirm and dispair, when her friends coupled brazenly in front of her. Etymology: threesome (a trio) + squirm (react with discomfort) Created by: petaj.

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I guess it's really over...

DEFINITION: v. intr. To frustrate oneself by sending emails to someone who cannot receive them, especially when "over quota". n. An emotional response to bounced-back email.

VERBOTICISMS: (Invented words created by the Verbotomy Writers)

Emailaise: /ee-ma-LEYZ/ Jenna's emailaise was becoming unbearable. If they didn't want to give her the job, why did they give her a second interview and make her take the stupid Excel test? Etymology: email + malaise Created by: Clayton.

Sendsitive: /send-sah-tiv/ staring at the growing list of rejected emails, with my lip quivering uncontrollably, i realised i was becoming far to sendsitive Etymology: send, sensitive Created by: rikboyee.

Emobilized: /ee-mow-bill-eyesd/ Jill was completely emobilized by her empty inbox. All of her heartfelt notes were flying around in cyberspace, rejected. Etymology: email + immobilize + emotion Created by: Jabberwocky.

Ebound: /e-bound/ Her emails to Jordan were ebounded immediately with the message "Delivery Notification - Failure". She was sure it was deliberate and that she was on the ebound. Etymology: e + rebound Created by: Stevenson0.

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Of course I'm twenty-one!

DEFINITION: v. intr. To lie about your age. n. A misrepresentation about your age, usually presented because you want to appear younger or older.

VERBOTICISMS: (Invented words created by the Verbotomy Writers)

Exagerate: /eggs-ayj-err-ayt/ to get into the nightclub she was forced to exagerate Etymology: age, exaggerate Created by: rikboyee.

Manipulage: /ma-nip-ul-age/ Ah, c'mon, let me in! A bit of manipulaging has never done anyone any harm. Etymology: manipulate+age Created by: w5lf9s.

Misagery: /mis-age-er-ee/ Misagery is a common practice among first year college and university students using fake I.D.'s to gain access to bars near the campus. Etymology: mis + age + ry Created by: Stevenson0.

Embellage: /Em - bell - age/ You are so guilty of embellage! There is no way you are the same person pictured on this Drivers License! Etymology: Embellish + Age Created by: guesser.

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Aren't you supposed to use a scoop?

DEFINITION: n. The euphoria felt when sticking one's hand surreptitiously into a barrelful of rice, peas, or other legumes.

VERBOTICISMS: (Invented words created by the Verbotomy Writers)

Paradrice: /para-dryce/ Slipping off to the market near work and dipping her fingers into the cool vat of silky rice was nothing short of paradrice. Etymology: paradise + rice Created by: Jabberwocky.

Inpulsation: /in-poll-say-shun/ as the owner of a lentil store, my biggest peeve is with people who come in for some inpulsation and then leave without buying anything Etymology: in,pulse[as in peas,beans etc], sensation, impulse, pulsate, npul, ulsa, satio Created by: rikboyee.

Lentitillation: /len-tit-ill-ay-shun/ Dahlene has been lupining for some lentitillation for soy long that I'm masoor she'll go crazy next time we visit the Indian grocer. Etymology: lentil + titillation Created by: petaj.

Circumpodstasy: /circum-pod-stasy/ Wiggling her hand around deep in the barrel of split peas was a sensation that shifted her mind into the ultimate state of circumpodstacy. Etymology: circum + pod + ecstasy Created by: Stevenson0.

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A nose bidet? Great...

DEFINITION: v.intr. To pretend to be enthusiastic even when you are not, simply because everyone else is. n. Fake enthusiasm.

VERBOTICISMS: (Invented words created by the Verbotomy Writers)

Actstatic: /act-stat-ik/ With all the enthusiasm and peersure from his friends, he decided to be actstatic in the silly escapade. Etymology: act + ecstatic Created by: Stevenson0.

Shamthusiasm: /sham-thoo-zee-az-um/ she accepted his unexpected proposal with great shamthusiasm Etymology: sham, enthusiasm Created by: rikboyee.

Simuelate: /sim-you-ee-late/ When the Team Power business strategy was being taught at work, I found it extremely difficult to simuelate; it was just another plan destined for failure. Etymology: simulate, elate Created by: purpleartichokes.

Effortvesce: /eff-ort-vess/ Even though eating olives made him gag he had to effortvesce over their pungent qualities to become a member of the pizza club Etymology: effervesce (gush) + effort Created by: Jabberwocky.

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How did you know what I had for lunch?

DEFINITION: n. The bits of food that get stuck between your teeth, and remain even after you brush.

VERBOTICISMS: (Invented words created by the Verbotomy Writers)

Dentritis: /det-tree-eye-tus/ His none use of dental floss lead to dentritis, random food debris trapped between his teeth. Etymology: dental + debris + itis Created by: Stevenson0.

Morselcode: /mor-sell-cohd/ she claimed she was dieting but her morselcode said chocolate Etymology: morsel- small scrap of food code- a mesage that can be interpreted by the few afficinados Created by: suzanne.

Embarrasites: /em-ba-riss-ights/ i turned up to the job interview unaware that my mouth was full of embarrasites Etymology: embarrasing, parasites Created by: rikboyee.

Evidents: /evv i dense/ I could tell from the evidents that ribs were on the canteen lunch menu again this week. Etymology: evidence. dents as in dental. Created by: galwaywegian.

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I'm clean! Clean as a needle!

DEFINITION: The prescribed response of shock and denial that all world-class athletes follow when caught using banned drugs.

VERBOTICISMS: (Invented words created by the Verbotomy Writers)

Denyitol: /dee-nI-it-ol/ I take two tabs of denyitol and I'm fine Etymology: deny + it+ all Created by: wordmeister.

Jabbergasted: /jab-err-gas-ted/ to suggest that i won that week of verbotomy due to the illegal use of anabolic dictionaroids...i have to tell you that leaves me absolutely jabbergasted Etymology: jab, flabbergasted Created by: rikboyee.

Prescriptstun: /pre-SCRIP-stun/ Derek strode into the pretenssconference mistakenly confident that his prescriptstun would convince the world that he was clean. Etymology: prescription (they always say it was prescribed for the flu) + script (used to rehearse for the press conference) + stun (shock) Created by: petaj.

Aghrasst: /a-grassd/ I'm absolutely aghrasst at the accusations leveled against me by my fellow team mates - just aghrasst I tell you - anabolic dictionaroids (who grassed?) Etymology: aghast + grassed Created by: Jabberwocky.

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Oh dear! Are you thinking of a bad word?

DEFINITION: interj. Used to express disappointment when you realize you've made a stupid mistake.

VERBOTICISMS: (Invented words created by the Verbotomy Writers)

Blunderstruck: /blun-der-struk/ looking down at the tube of fungal cream in my hand, then into the mirror at the toothbrush in my mouth, i was suddenly blunderstruck Etymology: blunder, thunderstruck Created by: rikboyee.

Merdededieu: /mared-di-doo/ "Merdededieu" he screamed as the toner cartridge exploded all over his new suit. That's okay he explained to the startled client - I'm just praying. Etymology: merde (shit in French) + mere de dieu (mother of God Created by: Jabberwocky.

Blixit: /b-lick-s-it/ Just one more drop of glue and it is done. Perfect... wait.. did I just glue this upsidedown? Blixit! I am going to have to start over to fix this. Etymology: Starting with 'B' for 'bad'...blix rhymes with fix.. 'it' because many interjections have 'it' added on to the end. Created by: serendipity9000.

Fiduddle: /fi-dud-dle/ When he slammed the hammer against his thumb, a loud angry 'fiduddle' was shouted. Etymology: a loud angry sound made in front of children instead of the 'F' word Created by: Stevenson0.

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I wish I knew what I'm thinking?

DEFINITION: n. A lost thought; v. intr. To become distracted and lose track of what you were thinking.

VERBOTICISMS: (Invented words created by the Verbotomy Writers)

Blinkling: /blink-ling/ Several times a day I get an earth shattering blinkling but then in an instant, it's gone Etymology: inkling + blink Created by: Jabberwocky.

Ruminesia: /roo-muh-nee-zhuh/ He was contemplating the most brilliant idea for a new e-company when ruminesia set in and all he could remember was that he really wanted a chocolate ice-cream cone. Etymology: ruminate (think about, ponder) + amnesia Created by: Stevenson0.

Braindrop: /brain-drop/ Um, I forget what I was going to write. Etymology: Braindrops keep falling from my head. And just like the guy whose thoughts are too big for his head, nothing seems to stick.... Created by: petaj.

Thoughtbotomy: /n. thot-bot-oh-mee/ During his presentation, Bob had an unscheduled thoughtbotomy; the slide was before him, yet he couldn't think of a single word to say. Etymology: thought, lobotomy Created by: purpleartichokes.

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Be Creative,

James

www.verbotomy.com
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