Aah, aahh, AAAHHH! ohhnnn...

DEFINITION: An incomplete sneeze; starts with a nose tickle, followed by a sharp intake of breath, but then it vanishes, leaving only a vague sense of incompletion.

VERBOTICISMS: (Invented words created by the Verbotomy Writers)

Gesundhalt: /gah-zunt-halt/ In 18th century Europe, regular intake of snuff was a common remedy to gesundhalt. Etymology: gesundheit, only halted Created by: Alchemist.

Snee: /s nee/ as Carol snee'd for the 7th time that day due to hay fever the irritation became too much and she poked herself in the eye to force a full sneeze out. Etymology: snee, half a sneeze. Created by: erasmus.

Snotyet: /snoy ee et/ a series of snot yets left her exhausted and her dinner guests strangely unhungry. Etymology: snot not yet Created by: galwaywegian.

Snease: /s-niece/ Just as she was about to sneeze, she encountered a snease, that sharp nasel pain of an unfullfiled sneeze. With a snease all the symptoms of a sneeze are there, but the satisfying achoo. Etymology: sneeze + cease Created by: Stevenson0.

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Excuse me, but that's my button.

DEFINITION: To push a pushbutton that has just been pushed by someone else because you "need" to push it yourself; common at elevators, traffic lights, and family meetings.

VERBOTICISMS: (Invented words created by the Verbotomy Writers)

Superflupress: /sue-purr-flu-press/ Gordon was such a controlpanelfreak that he was always superflupressing in the vain thought that he could override everyone else's intentions. Etymology: superfluous (surplus to demand) + press Created by: petaj.

Prescalate: /press-cah-layt/ he arrived at the traffic lights and couldn't help but prescalate... the other gentleman responded with his own prescalation...the situation then prescalated to such a point that neither of them were prepared to leave the button even when the lights changed... Etymology: press, escalate Created by: rikboyee.

Pushwhacked: /push-wackd/ Although it was already pressed, Jill pushwhacked the buton continuously until the elevator arrived. Etymology: push, bushwhack Created by: toadstool57.

Pushoneupmanship: /push--wun-up-man-ship/ The pushoneupmanship in him was so strong that he was compelled to override every button pusher on the planet - he did at least 100 per day Etymology: push up + one-upmanship Created by: Jabberwocky.

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Honey, are you awake?

DEFINITION: An idea that pops into your head just before you fall asleep, which is so big and brilliant, or else so dark and scary, that it keeps you awake all night long.

VERBOTICISMS: (Invented words created by the Verbotomy Writers)

Nightbulb: /nite-bulb/ Roger had a nightbulb so dark and brilliant that he couldn't sleep for week. Finally, his wife pulled the plug on the idea, and he rested... Etymology: night + lightbulb Created by: wordmeister.

Fortythinks: /for-tee-th-inks/ He was restless, sleep deprived and in the state of fortythinks, filled with the brilliant ideas on how he was going to become a partner in the firm at 29 years of age. Etymology: fortywinks + thinks Created by: Stevenson0.

Thoughtywink: /th-or-tee-wink/ Being a particularly creative type, Michelangelo was prone to thoughtywinks which allowed him only very light sleep for extremely short periods. He longed for a solid night of deep sleep. Etymology: thought (mental process that generates ideas) + forty winks (a short light nap) Created by: petaj.

Sleepdeprivision: /sleep-deh-preh-vih-zhun/ Last night I had a sleepdeprivision. Today, I am groggily wondering why I thought it was feasible to set up a full-scale hydroponic artichoke growing system in my basement. Etymology: sleep deprivation, vision Created by: purpleartichokes.

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I can't believe you forgot my birthday! Whaaa!

DEFINITION: To remember those special personal events, like your spouse's birthday, or your wedding anniversary, while nevertheless forgetting to take appropriate action, like getting a gift, or a card, or flowers.

VERBOTICISMS: (Invented words created by the Verbotomy Writers)

Thinket: /think-eht/ My husband thought about getting me a trinket for my birthday, but all I ended up getting was a thinket. Perhaps he got fuggitful or forgiftful, because later he got doghousen syndrome. Etymology: trinket, think Created by: purpleartichokes.

Verbration: /vur-brey-shuhn/ It was another special occasion when Susie celebrated Joey's Birthday with a verbration. Verbration is the all talk, no action, giftless celebration. "Besides", Susie said during her verbration, "it's the good vibrations that count, not the gift." Etymology: verbalize + celebration Created by: Stevenson0.

Comissmemorate: /com-miss-MEM-o-rate/ Benny comissmemorated my birthday this year by organising a special surprise -- a beautifully wrapped, yet empty box. Etymology: commemorate (to remember a significant event with a ceremony) + miss (to fail -and also the middle of the word omission) + commiserate (sympathize with - what my girlfriends will do when I tell them about Benny the rat) Created by: petaj.

Commehmorate: /com-MEH-more-ate/ Bobby couldn't wait to get a wonderful present for their six day anniversary but Susan commehmorated it. Etymology: commemorate + "meh" (a sound expressing "whatever") Created by: playdohheart.

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Sure, I'd love to talk...

DEFINITION: A person who immediately answers all cell phone calls, then chats on and on, leaving the people they're with, hanging.

VERBOTICISMS: (Invented words created by the Verbotomy Writers)

Cellfish: /sell-fish/ When he started taking calls from telemarketers during intimate moments, I realized that he wasn't that into me and was really quite cellfish. Etymology: cell phone, selfish Created by: purpleartichokes.

Cellout: /cell-out/ Brian's rudeness was abounding. Whenever he got a call, he would cellout, totally ignoring the person he was with. Cellout behaviour is the twenty-first century's virtual slap in the face. Cellout is uncivil, uncultured, boorish, tasteless, insensitive, disrespectful, ill-mannered, loutish, discourteous and just damn plain rude and impolite. Etymology: cell + sell out Created by: Stevenson0.

Cellphcentered: /self-sen-turd/ Jack was so cellphcentered that he had his cell phone surgically attached to his ear Etymology: cell phone + self centered ( really implies cell phone centered) Created by: Jabberwocky.

Ringslave: /-ˈɹɪŋsleɪv-/ I worry about becoming a ringslave because I do answer the phone almost immediately every time it rings, but I think my humanity may be saved by the fact that I seem incapable of carrying on a conversation that lasts more than 30 seconds over the phone. Etymology: From ring + slave Created by: ErWenn.

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Do you guys mind eating somewhere else?

DEFINITION: A state of irrational irritation, which inevitably develops whenever you work or live with someone whose annoyingly bad habits happen to mirror your own.

VERBOTICISMS: (Invented words created by the Verbotomy Writers)

Doppelanger: /dop-ell-an-ger/ Jim quietly seethed with doppelanger as Suzie threw her dirty laundry on the floor, obscuring his own smelly socks. Etymology: Doppelganger + anger Created by: pinwheel.

Twinfuriate: /twin-FYUR-e-ate/ My roommate Karl is so twinfuriating! I hate it when he covers my dirty dishes with his! Like there isn't enough dishcord around here... Etymology: twin, infuriate Created by: Alchemist.

Mirrortation: /mir err tay shun/ his sense of mirrortation multiplied with each swallowed bogey he witnessed. Etymology: mirror irritation Created by: galwaywegian.

Apeathy: /ape-a-thy/ Jill's habit of greeting everyone who approached the desk with "what's up guys?" stereophonically in sync with her own sent her into state of apeathy Etymology: ape (to mimic) + apathy (cool detachment Created by: Jabberwocky.

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Nothing clever to say?

DEFINITION: A clever remark, especially a "comeback line" to an insult, which does not come to mind until it is too late to be delivered; often leads to the gnashing of teeth.

VERBOTICISMS: (Invented words created by the Verbotomy Writers)

Retalilate: /ri-tal-ee-late/ He could always retalilate to her sharp witted put downs, but only a few hours after her verbal slap. Etymology: retaliate + late Created by: Stevenson0.

Retortoise: /re-tor-tus/ Finally, at 2am , he thought of a retortoise Etymology: retort, tortoise Created by: rikboyee.

Parrysoundbite: /pary-sownd-byte/ Barry needed dental surgery after his latest parrysoundbite which of course went unheard Etymology: parry (retort) + Parry Sound (Ontario town) + sound bite (hence gnashing of teeth) Created by: Jabberwocky.

Waiticism: /way-tiss-ism/ As he smashed the last plate in the restaurant, Chris suddenly discovered the waiticism he had needed to parry the waiter's razor-sharp repartee... Etymology: wait -> witticism Created by: urbanwookie.

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I feel so icky!

DEFINITION: The unpleasant physical and/or psychological effects, which occur after watching the entire season of a TV show, non-stop on DVD.

VERBOTICISMS: (Invented words created by the Verbotomy Writers)

Episodomy: /ep-i-SOD-o-mee/ Buffy felt slayed and not a little lost. She also had a sore derriere from sitting on the sofa watching the entire season of Fawlty Towers without getting up. She had a bad case of episodomy. Etymology: episode (a part of television series) + Sodom (a city well known for vice and corruption especially of a certain kind likely to cause psychological unpleasantness and/or a sore butt) Created by: petaj.

Schizoscreenia: /skit-so-scree-nee-ah/ Long after Eric had finished watching Star Trek, he could still hear Captain Kirk's voice in his head. His friends deduced he must be suffering from schizoscreenia. Etymology: schizophrenia + screen Created by: pinwheel.

Gomerpiles: /go-mer-pyles/ After watching the complete boxed set of the Andy Griffith Show and Andy of Mayberry, they both developed serious gomerpiles Etymology: Gomer Pyle (character in the TV series) + piles (Hemorrhoids caused by sitting too long) Created by: Jabberwocky.

Deeveedepression: /dee-vee-dee-presh-un/ My marathon session viewing an entire season of "The Sopranos" was justly rewarded with 3 loads of unwashed laundry, 2 meals worth of dirty dishes, a left butt-cheek that had fallen asleep, and a wicked case of deeveedepression. Etymology: DVD, Depression Created by: purpleartichokes.

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I didn't get an MBA for nothing.

DEFINITION: The art of sneaking to the office kitchen without having to take orders from your colleagues for coffee, or tea, or anything...

VERBOTICISMS: (Invented words created by the Verbotomy Writers)

Subterfridge: /sub-ter-frij/ With careful subterfridge, Jill was able to disappear beside the fridge and take an uninterupted coffee break Etymology: subterfuge (trick used to escape) + fridge Created by: porsche.

Galleyphanting: /GAL-E-fan-ting/ Felicia Fanshaw formerly known as the office galleyphantom, has died of poisoning from arsenic in her coffee mug. Several of her colleagues are assisting police with their enquiries. Etymology: galley (kitchen) + phantom (something elusive) + gallivanting (roaming about in search of pleasure such as chocolate biscuits dipped in hot coffee) Created by: petaj.

Ninjava: /nin-JAH-vah/ Every day, Bret would miraculously appear several times with freshly brewed coffee in his mug, while his colleagues went dry. He was a true master of the art of ninjava. Etymology: ninja, java (slang for coffee) Created by: Alchemist.

Gofahcoffy: /go-fah-coff-ee/ 'Time to gofahcoffy' she said to herself. This was one of the few times this week she would try to invisibly gumshoe her way to the staff room to enjoy a cup of tea by herself and wallow in the solitude and calmness of the vacated kitchen. Goinfahcoffy was a huge challenge and risk, but if she got by her twenty-two co-workers, the tea and the time alone would help her overcome her protaskination and comtemplate the highly emotional marrage she encountered earlier in the week. Etymology: go + for + coffee-Related to the ancient and timely Canadian art of sneaking off from work to be on your own, known as 'goingfahcoffy', or 'Tim'sing it up'. Also referenced in respect to unsolicited and irrelevant comments, such as a protoclash. Created by: Stevenson0.

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But I don't know how to take out the garbage!

DEFINITION: A specialized inability, or area of "chosen incompetency", based on an individual's need to avoid certain unpleasant tasks.

VERBOTICISMS: (Invented words created by the Verbotomy Writers)

Conchoreshun: /con-chor-shun/ Conchoreshun is the ability to snake around undesirable tasks in a seemingly innocent manner Etymology: contort + chore + shun Created by: Jabberwocky.

Incompretence: /In-com-pree-tense/ Jack's incompretence fooled everyone except his mother, who was not convinced by his excuse that he could play tennis left-handed instead of taking out the trash. Etymology: Incompetence + pretence Created by: Discoveria.

Protaskination: /proh-task-tuh-ney-shun/ Protaskination always overtakes me when it is time to clean the toilet and change the cat litter. Etymology: procrastination + task Created by: Stevenson0.

Skillusion: /skill-oo-zhun/ My son is a master at the art of skillusion. His latest task evasion tactic was to weedwhack all my violetto artichoke plants, claiming he thought they were just giant thistles, which, of course, they are. Etymology: skill, illusion Created by: purpleartichokes.

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Thank goodness you walked in!

DEFINITION: The mental state induced by the discovery your new husband, and your maid of honor, entangled in the satin sheets given to you as a wedding present by your grandmother.

VERBOTICISMS: (Invented words created by the Verbotomy Writers)

Knivesinwhitesatin: /nyves-in-wyte-satin/ The discovery of the tryst sent her into a state of knivesinwhitesatin hopefully "never reaching the end" Etymology: knives (the kind that in literature come flying out of ones eyes) + Knights in White Satin (Moody Blues) Created by: Jabberwocky.

Betraythed: /bee-tray-thed/ she went from betrothed to betraythed in record time Etymology: betrayed, betrothed Created by: rikboyee.

Marrage: /mer-rage/ On finding her new husband and the maid of honour, she went into a state of marrage throwing and breaking everything she could get her hands on. Etymology: marriage + rage Created by: Stevenson0.

Apesheet: /APE-sheet/ When Sheila walked in and discovered her new groom and her maid of honor entangled in the satin sheets given as a wedding present by her grandmother, she went absolutely apesheet! Etymology: wasn't this scene from "The Godfather"? Created by: Alchemist.

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What are you doing?

DEFINITION: A sudden, uncontrollable desire to eat something fast, usually occurs at bedtime.

VERBOTICISMS: (Invented words created by the Verbotomy Writers)

Nappetite: /nap-ah-tight/ everytime his head hit the pillow his nappetite would kick in Etymology: nap, appetite Created by: rikboyee.

Moonchies: /moon-cheez/ He had an attack of the full moonchies, that irresistible urge to chow down and send himself to dreamland on a full stomach. Etymology: moon + munchies Created by: Stevenson0.

Boltdozer: /bowlt-dozer/ As soon as dusk fell he became a boltdozer, wolfing down any junk food in sight - he eventually married a short order chef Etymology: bolt (to eat hurriedly) + dozer (sleeper)also refers to bulldozer Created by: Jabberwocky.

Nightstoker: /nye-t-stoker/ He kept it hidden by day but he became the nightstoker at bedtime. Etymology: night stalker + stoke (feed) Created by: porsche.

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That idiot has finally been fired?

DEFINITION: A mixture of delight and guilt felt when a colleague, whom you despise, suffers a misfortune.

VERBOTICISMS: (Invented words created by the Verbotomy Writers)

Dupliciglee: /doo-pli-si-glee/ She had a difficult time hiding her dupliciglee when the office know it all got the boot Etymology: duplicity + glee (deceitful happiness) Created by: Jabberwocky.

Schuldeschadenfreude: /shool-de-shahd-n-froi-duh/ Kathy'd thought of herself as a "mean girl" so her schuldeschadenfreude at Betty's car accident (Betty'd always flaunted that Mercedes!) was something of a shock. Etymology: Basically a compound German word, this is based on a combination of "Schuld" (guilt) and "Schadenfreude" (pleasure at the misfortune of others) which is an already accepted, and surprisingly rarely used word in the English language. Created by: catgrin.

Sadissfaction: /sa-diss-faction/ I really didn't mean for her to literally "break a leg" on stage, so I was overcome with sadissfaction when I saw her in a cast and using crutches. Etymology: sad, diss, satisfaction Created by: purpleartichokes.

Regretstasy: /ree-gret-stah-see/ Jill felt regretstasy over Betty's termination because while Jill despised Betty she wouldn't want to be ousted so publicly. Etymology: regret + ecstasy Created by: jedijawa.

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I do not need or use deodorant.

DEFINITION: A lie told by a politician which is not really a lie, because in their heart of hearts, they are pretending it is true.

VERBOTICISMS: (Invented words created by the Verbotomy Writers)

Balonimony: /ba-LO-na-mo-nee/ When he was running for office, he gave an oathspiel about how he cared about the environment; when he was elected, I realized it was just his bullief and nothing more than balonimony. Etymology: baloney (a lie), testimony Created by: purpleartichokes.

Defactualize: /dis-fak-choo-lize/ The Prime Minister was able to defactualize about the situation by thinking about what he will do in the future, not what he did to cause the problem. Etymology: de facto + fact + conceptualize Created by: Stevenson0.

Doubledupe: /dubbl-doop/ His argument that subways were inhabited by zombies was so convincing that it became a doubledupe and he always had to take the bus Etymology: double + dupe and dupe + double Created by: Jabberwocky.

Lewinksy: /lew-in-ski/ Bob Roberts told a lewinsky in his comments to the press yesterday because he so desperately needed for the lie to be true. Etymology: Derived from B.Clinton's excessive bending of the truth (i.e. lying) in the Monica Lewinksy scandal. I liked the guy anyway but he had a gift for "the lewinsky". Created by: jedijawa.

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I'm sorry can you repeat that?

DEFINITION: A technological innovation that doesn't work as expected because "normal people" can't figure out how to use it.

VERBOTICISMS: (Invented words created by the Verbotomy Writers)

Einstymie: /EIN-sty-mee/ Sue was all thrilled to get her new cell phone, but after reading through the 245 page manual and realizing she didn't have a clue as to how to turn on the damn thing, she realized she had purchased yet another Einstymie. Etymology: Einstein, stymie (A situation or problem presenting such difficulties as to discourage or defeat any attempt to deal with or resolve it.) Created by: purpleartichokes.

Trekkienology: /trekee-nawl-ogee/ I think you have to understand Vulcan to figure out modern trekkienology Etymology: trekkie + technology Created by: Jabberwocky.

Vistappointment: /vis-tah-POYNY-ment/ That new self-walking dog leash I bought online turned out to be a big Vistappointment. I couldn't even get it configured to my breed, it kept defaulting to "shih tsu". What a rip! Etymology: Vista (you know) + disappointment Created by: Alchemist.

Ditzmo: /ditz-mo/ The ditzmo was such a complicated bit of electronics that Bobbie didn't even try to figure it out. Etymology: ditz (a scatterbrain) + gizmo (a mechanical device) Created by: jedijawa.

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OMG YGLT Shakespeare

DEFINITION: To unconsciously adopt the vocal mannerisms and linguistic stylings of the people with whom you are speaking.

VERBOTICISMS: (Invented words created by the Verbotomy Writers)

Copychat: /cop-ee-chat/ Leanne would copychat his posh accent to make her client feel more at ease. Etymology: From "copy cat" and "chat". Created by: Bulletchewer.

Verbotomime: /ver-boto-mime/ Jedijawa tends to unconsciously verbotomime the dialect and accent of people who he talks to for more than 5 minutes unless he tries very hard not to do so. Etymology: verbotomy (pandering to the board on this one) + mime (to imitate) Created by: jedijawa.

Vernacclimate: // After a few months he found he had vernacclimated with the locals without even noticing. Etymology: vernacular + acclimate Created by: swallowedbyafish.

Mimeojargon: /mim-ee-uh-jar-gon/ After spending many hours interviewing high school students, the counsellor's mimeojargon became part of her life and her friends just didn't understand her. Etymology: mimeograph + jargon Created by: Stevenson0.

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Wait for the perfect pitch...

DEFINITION: A willingness to wait, forever if necessary, for the perfect opportunity; excessive patience.

VERBOTICISMS: (Invented words created by the Verbotomy Writers)

Oppeternity: /op-ah-turn-it-ee/ she had turned down every man that had ever asked her out, because none of them were quite right...and by golly even if it took all the opporternity she possessed... she would eventually find him Etymology: opportunity, eternity Created by: rikboyee.

Caseyatthebatitude: /kay-see-at-the-bat-i-tood/ Bill's caseyatthebatitude casued him to never place any bets at the roulette wheel as he kept waiting for the right moment that never came. Etymology: From the poem "Casey at the Bat" where Casey kept waiting and eventually struck out when he was meant to be the hero of the day. Created by: jedijawa.

Lages: /lage-ess/ He lages for the perfect opportunity to buy the stock at the right time. Because of his lagesness, he often misses the ideal price point. Etymology: lag + ages Created by: Stevenson0.

Godotancy: /-ɡəˈdoʊ.ənˌsi- Silent "t"!/ A godotant individual rarely feels the negative effects of their unrealistic optimism, but their godotancy often becomes quite frustrating for others. Etymology: As in Sam Beckett's play, _Waiting for Godot_. Created by: ErWenn.

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I winning!

DEFINITION: A state of hyper-attentive focus combined with WBT (Whole Body Twitching) and IEE (Ignores Everything Else), which commonly afflicts video game players.

VERBOTICISMS: (Invented words created by the Verbotomy Writers)

Levelupsy: /Lev-ell-up-see/ Patient S is the first documented case of fatal levelupsy. S had a history of chronic gaming; patient was discovered convulsing upon couch, ignoring symptoms of asphyxia while playing a common console game. Etymology: Level up + epilepsy. Epilepsy: a chronic nervous system disorder causing seizures. Created by: Discoveria.

Wiitusi: /wee-TOO-see/ When Brandon pops in Mario Party 8 and begins his crazy wiitusi, nothing is safe. His mom finally gave up and just removed all the remaining unbroken Hummels from the family room. Etymology: wii (vid game) + watusi (the dance, not th e tribe). I am probably dating myself with this one... Created by: Alchemist.

Videoverdrive: /vi-dee-oh-vur-drive/ At first glance, I thought my son may have Tourettes Syndrome, but when I saw that he was playing a game, I realized he was just in videoverdrive. Etymology: video, overdrive Created by: purpleartichokes.

Nintendosis: /nihn-tehn-DOH-sihs/ Alex's nintendosis affected him to the point that he couldn't hold a pencil in class, and his glazed-over eyes saw little Marios bouncing round the chalkboard. Etymology: Nintendo + -osis Created by: mplsbohemian.

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What was I looking for?

DEFINITION: To be so distracted by the fact that you can't find something, that you forget what you were looking for.

VERBOTICISMS: (Invented words created by the Verbotomy Writers)

Whichhunt: /which-hunt/ as he aimlessly entered the kitchen again, he realised he needed to give up this whichhunt. Etymology: which, hunt, witch hunt Created by: rikboyee.

Itemnesia: /eye-tem-NEES-yah/ After 20 minutes of frantically searching through her Prius, Sharon paused, stricken with itemnesia. Now WHAT was she looking for? Etymology: item + amnesia Created by: Alchemist.

Damnesia: /dam-nee-zhuh/ When you forget what you forgot it might be senility but it's probably just a case of damnesia. Etymology: damn + amnesia Created by: lauramy.

Helterseeker: /hell-tor-sEk-or/ Jill's search for her keys turned into a helterseeker. She forgot that she is seeking her keys when she stumbled onto a shoe she lost 2 months ago. Etymology: helter skelter/seek Created by: toadstool57.

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Hi Sexy! Oops... Sorry, I thought you were someone else.

DEFINITION: To recognize and loudly greet a friend only to realize that it is a complete stranger, who now thinks that you are somewhat odd.

VERBOTICISMS: (Invented words created by the Verbotomy Writers)

Helloops: /hell + oops/ I saw Jacob the other day and gave him what turned out to be a big helloops - it was some other guy. Etymology: hello + oops Created by: Osomatic.

Myopialliance: /mye ope ee a lie ens/ she made three more myopialliances on route to the opticians. Etymology: myopia, alliance Created by: galwaywegian.

Randomactofblindness: /random act of blindness/ Just as well Shelly had a superiority complex, as her randomactsofblindness meant that a lot of strangers thought she was totally nuts. Etymology: random act of kindness (this could conceivable involve loud friendly greetings to randomly met strangers) + blind (not being able to see who you are really talking to) Created by: petaj.

Notyoutations: /not-you-tay-shuns/ ever since she lost her glasses she was the queen of greetings and notyoutations Etymology: not you, salutations Created by: rikboyee.

To see more verboticisms for this definition go to:
http://www.verbotomy.com/verboticisms.php?jid=hi

Be Creative,

James

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